I feel shite. OK I have been educated to know absolutely that bad language is often a mask for a poor vocabulary, but needs must. The last few days have been just awful, but for no particular reason. We still a date for Jason’s op, we have date for his pre-op, but we are really struggling. I am really struggling. Small boy is really struggling. Even Jase and teengirl are struggling (although she has been a star, more of which later).
So nothing has changed, maybe this is the problem. We are only a couple of weeks in and I’m struggling. How did my brother do this for FIVE years? (Three Hodgekin’s lymphomas, five years, final call of terminal cancer beaten and now all fine, been clear for 18 years now).
OK enough with the mud gazing (a favourite saying of a good friend of mine, ‘at times life puts us all in the mud, but its up to you if you choose to look down in the mud or up at the stars’). I think it might be all down to chemistry. We have been running the adrenelin high, and now it has run out on us. We are weary.
So maybe a bit more mud-gazing. Smallboy is really struggling at school. In their heart felt efforts to keep everything as normal as possible, no one had asked him how he was. Lots of tears and some visits later, we are back on the right page, but not before I enlisted teengirl to come talk to him. She was amazing. Laughed and cried together and made a plan. She totally nailed it for him.
Had a good long chat with a good friend I should talk to more often, babe, its not easy xxx