Can’t sleep won’t sleep

So here is the thing, we have been enjoying a period of calm, healthy food, early  nights and now the Easter hols for the squibs. Unfortunately small boy can’t sleep, a combination of irritating unnecessary stress put on him by school about his SATS ( grr, don’t get me started on that nonsense!) and worry about his Dad, understandable, all ideas v gratefully received xx

But here is really my thing tonight, tomorrow I am off with two of my most beloved friends for our annual two night jaunt. This ritual began many moons ago before any of us had children, was rested when they were tiny, and was then resumed in 2007 to celebrate my 40th birthday, and we have saved for and enjoyed a couple of days away together every since. We have been to France, little haven, Ghent, Ludlow, Amsterdam, Oxford, Bath..morecambe…. many places but always the same amazing time. 

This year we are heading to Cumbria, less than two hours from home for me, but I’m so scared. Jase is well at the moment, but I’m feeling nervous. My head is chocka with ‘what ifs’ of a million kind, I really don’t want to be away from my babes, so tonight I’m with small boy. Can’t sleep won’t sleep. Mine is also fuelled by my ‘mother hen’ instinct, you see if I am up then nothing bad can happen to any one in this house, untrue and exhausting I know, but too primal to change, so wish me luck, cos I’m not off to bed xx


5 thoughts on “Can’t sleep won’t sleep

  1. You describe the ‘mother hen’ insomnia so well.
    Your post brings back memories of when my daughter was aged 16 and son aged 19. Their Dad died in the summer holidays (heart attack), neither could face going back to school and university respectively, I felt they needed to have a routine and to be with their friends, when I talked to them about it, it was the pressure of exams they were not wanting to face. I went to both the school and the Uni and spoke to their tutors, both were extremely sympathetic and said my kids could go back, do just as much work as they wanted to do – no pressure would be put on them at all – they both returned, they were not put under any pressure to do any homework or anything other than turn up – and both did well in the exams – not brilliantly – but well. They are in their 30s now and with happy families of their own.

    I hesitate to write this as I’m not sure you will feel it’s the right timing for you to hear another’s tale. (please feel free to delete if you want to!)
    I just wanted to send a Granny hug and support for your son not to take too much notice of the ..***!!!???!!! SATS!!!!! You and I could have a right old RANT about them!!!
    And to you, I do wish you an enormous chunk of LUCK!!!!! ❤ (and a hug too if you want one!) ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you do much for your sharing your family’s experience. It has encouraged me to go and talk to school next week. The last two nights have been better, I have hidden his homework and instigated a lavender bath and Horlicks routine with max outside time in the day and a relaxation app at night, fingers crossed so far it’s working 🙂 thank you so much for your support, it really does help me and is very much appreciated xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good luck with speaking to the school. I am certain they will be supportive.
    Use this lull between treatment to recharge batteries. When my husband had cancer we used a gap between chemo and radiotherapy to have a weekend in the Lake District. That weekend stands in our minds as being a major milestone to overall recovery
    A day at a time with as much normality and fun as you can manage .
    Thoughts are with you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for your kind thoughts, we are doing our best to keep normality and fun at the top of our list, we are taking a break on the holiday weekend to visit Jases mum and take ourselves to Pembrokeshire, can’t wait to see the sea!!! School have been very supportive, and I have small boy booked in to see the children’s councillor at our local cancer care centre, fingers crossed xx


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